i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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