Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
