Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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