i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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