dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
