Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
