Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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