I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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