Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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