yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
