She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
