dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
