How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
well you can't waste a boner
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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