I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
