Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My liver is preforming stress tests.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
