we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
