i can't believe i had my finger in that
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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