Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
