And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
