I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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