Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
