Define "chronic" masturbator.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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