You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
