I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Randomize
