like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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