I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
