i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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