clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize