Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize