Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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