M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
