Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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