Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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