so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
