You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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