OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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