turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
