you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
