I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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