I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
