I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
