Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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