I cockslap morals
That's when you crack a 10am beer
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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