She announced her abortion via fbk
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
