Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize