R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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