quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
