you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize