You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
