I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
