once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
