We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
