If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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