she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
