ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
