i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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