I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Sponge bath it is.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
