Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
