I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
