Dual....:-)
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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