I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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