I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
where are my eyebrows?
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