Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Dicks are not precious.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
