so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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