its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize