he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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