she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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